Note: Verbal violence is a form of violence raised in recent decades. This violence is conceivable across all types of human relations; however, particularly in marital life, due to greater mixing of men and women, it has more concrete instances. Hujjat al-Islam wal-Muslimeen Mehdi Mehrizi, who has taught and researched in the field of women’s jurisprudence for years, believes that religious texts regarding instances of verbal violence are absolute (mutlaq) and not exclusive to women. The winner of the Imam Khomeini World Award in the field of elevating women’s status in society believes that verbal violence belongs to the realm of moral matters and is therefore trans-gender, belonging exclusively to no single gender. The detailed oral note of the Director of the Library of Jurisprudence and Law is presented below:
Regarding the jurisprudential ruling on verbal violence against women, several notable points are worth considering:
First: The first point is that matters relating to the humanity of human beings—whether positive or negative—must be viewed in a trans-gender manner. Gender and non-gender classifications in human matters possess no logical and rational foundation. The incorrectness of this classification does not pertain merely to negative matters and bad traits; rather, regarding positive matters and good traits as well, these classifications should not be made. For example, modesty and humility, self-sacrifice and devotion, are good traits that admit no gender distinction. Therefore, the default principle (al-asl) is to view gender issues in a trans-gender manner and not enter the category of gender regarding them at all, unless a specific proof exists in the matter.
Second: Verbal violence is an abstract title encompassing multiple matters. Verbal violence may be swearing, linguistic humiliation, mocking, raising one’s voice, or other matters. Therefore, verbal violence possesses no independent external reality; rather, it is an abstract title derived from the totality of these aforementioned matters.
Third: In religious texts, verbal violence is not viewed through a gendered lens; rather, if a text rejects this matter, it is absolute, encompassing both men and women. Swearing is bad, whether directed at a man or a woman. Humiliation is bad, whether regarding a man or a woman. The verse “And do not insult one another and do not call each other by offensive nicknames” (Wa la talmizu anfusakum wa la tanabazu bi-l-alqaab; Al-Hujurat: 11) is not exclusive to one gender. Commander of the Faithful (a) in Sermon 191 of Nahj al-Balaghah, describing the pious, states: “He does not call others by offensive nicknames and does not harm the neighbor” (Wa la yunabazu bi-l-alqaabi wa la yudarru bi-l-jar). Muhammad Abduh considers the meaning of this phrase to be the prohibition of calling people by offensive nicknames.
Fourth: In the discipline of jurisprudence, regarding immoral accusations that might be made against individuals, again no gendered view exists. For example, qadhf signifies making an immoral accusation (unlawful sexual allegation) against another person. This ruling is not exclusive to women; rather, it applies to both women and men; hence the prescribed punishment (hadd al-qadhf) is executed regarding both men and women. This ruling is not exclusive to husband and wife either; rather, regarding anyone against whom this accusation is issued, this prescribed punishment is executable. Using improper sexual expressions at times incurs prescribed whipping (hadd) and at times entails discretionary punishment (ta’zir), the type of which depends on the judge’s opinion.
Fifth: In the Quran, the issue of qadhf is raised specifically regarding women. This matter is mentioned in verses 4 and 6 of Surah Al-Ahzab:
“Allah has not made for any man two hearts within his interior. And He has not made your wives whom you declare unlawful [by zihar] your mothers. And He has not made your adopted sons your [real] sons. That is your saying by your mouths, but Allah says the truth, and He guides to the [right] way.” [1]
“The Prophet is more worthy of the believers than themselves, and his wives are their mothers. And blood relatives, some of them have more right to others in the decree of Allah than the [other] believers and the Emigrants, except that you should do to your friends kindness. That was in the Book written.” [2]
That Almighty God in these verses—which relate to Aisha and were revealed to prohibit accusations made against her—expressed this matter indicates that God showed greater sensitivity regarding qadhf toward women. Of course, jurisprudentially, qadhf toward a woman does not differ from qadhf toward a man; however, perhaps this specific mention of women in the issue of qadhf was either to preserve greater respect for women in society, or due to their greater vulnerability in these matters owing to general societal custom.
Sixth: Matters like ila’ (vow of sexual abstinence) and zihar (comparing a wife to one’s mother’s back) existed in the era of Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic ignorance) but are now abrogated/modified, and these matters do not fall among instances of verbal violence. What is stated in our religious texts regarding verbal violence is this very issue of qadhf, which is common to both men and women, and the Quran highlighted it more prominently regarding women.
[1]. Al-Ahzab: 4.
[2]. Al-Ahzab: 6.